I suppose it is time to have a digression on some of the inner workings of what is labeled as ” being out”. while I am not ” out” per se, it is one of the stigmas in my society that I found repugnant, and when I was a teenager, I saw more than one example of a person struggling with this in their own way. At that time of course, people thought it was a small number, and only at the extreme ends. however, I sought rather differently, and that there were as distinct set of markers that went along with it. Though I did not have a general universal framework, it was obvious to me, that the people who had these markers, were in no way “asking” for it – but had woken up in a body that was set up in this way. Much as the people who were gay were, they didn’t ask for, they had gotten it from birth.
Therefore, if we allowed people to love another person was the same sex – which is obvious to me that we did – we should also allow a person to change their gender, and follow through with the the consequences of that choice. in other words, being out was not a choice, but a reaction to a choice made by the body before it even had any notion of what that choice meant. therefore, like any other natural choice, the person who woke up in the body – because remember the brain waking up in the body is along time after the actual choice has been made – needed to grapple with the space which we had given all us to grapple with these changes. in other words, being out was part of the larger experience of the world.
There are two caveats – one exists if a person wakes up, and finds that the expression of their sexuality is in conflict, deeply so, with other beings. It is not persons fault, but it does have to be limited, and in some cases restrained. For example, pedophilia, is also not a person’s choice. We don’t know how it evolved, but it is obvious that either it was a choice, or it was a consequence of another choice, which had the side affect of promoting pedophilia. It is obvious, or rather it is obvious to most of us, that one cannot be allowed to engage in sex with a person that is to young – though obviously how young should be an issue. The reason is of course, the other person involved in that relationship does not know the consequences of it. thus pedophilia has to be restrained, because of this effect. but the blame lies not in the person who has pedophilia, because they too are just acting out the consequences of their genes. Rather it is all of us to explain to the person who is a pederast why in this culture – because remember the culture is not a fixed and immobile object, but a fluid kind of expression that teach – why they can not act as they feel they should. Remember various theocracies were homes to people who were pederasts, and manipulated the culture to reflect this structure. Their are numerous other examples in the literature, and we have not taken a view which will, in detail, say which ones are good, which ones are bad, and which ones may not be either good or bad, but have consequences.
The other one, obviously, is that the structure of the institution forces a choice which has to be made. For example which religion are you? In large part, this decision was forced before you, the person, were born. My religion is to a great extent based on the religions open to my parents, as yours is as well. This is a different sort of choice, but has to be made in the background of allowing people to work through a choice which has been given to them. Call it the “C” which lies at the back of all LGBT discussions. For example, in a culture which allows young men to be ordained as Buddhists, one of the choices that they could make is to be a monk, with no stigma attached to back choice.
This point is part of my active analysis of human life in general, and it is part of the focus of sotnaC book 2 in particular.
Why this is important to all of us, is that all of us have defects in our genes which have distracted consequences in our behavior. So while being “out” is an extreme case, there are others which while less extreme, effect many people – and they fight with this all the time. So while a person may be heterosexual, they also may have problems with their sex which bind them up in very tangled knots. So I welcome Lisa as having had the foresight to label herself as “out” doing that even on this Internet form of discussion there are tremendous consequences, that most of us don’t even know exist, but which she feels, or imagine she feels, every time she has to explain. Just as I must stand up and say that having someone like Lisa is a challenge to all of us to do better in making our society work for all of us, whether they are out, gay, or otherwise involved in the point of discussion. Because, I again will remind everyone, that they or someone they know has a defect in their sexuality, or other part of their personality, which causes them to struggle with it.